The First Time
by Window2MySoul
Summary: He watched as she spun in circles-her arms held wide as if she was hugging the sky, her face looking towards the heavens, eyes closed, and lips in a peaceful smile. L/J oneshot.


**It was during the summer's last rain; that was the first time he **_**noticed**_** her. **

He was sitting on a cold stone bench in a deserted second floor corridor, staring out of a window that faced the expansive Hogwarts grounds. At home he had always loved sneaking off and watching the rains pour down from the sky. There was just something about rain that fascinated him. He always imagined it as mother natures' way of bringing back life. It washed away everything and offered a new start. To him, it was completely and entirely invigorating. When he arrived at Hogwarts a couple weeks back, along with all his other nervous first year classmates, he carried on the tradition. Every time it rained, he went off so he could have alone time with his thoughts, which brought him to his current place of sitting. He was deep in his thoughts, absent mindedly watching the beading water droplets collect on the window pane-sliding down the glass, and collecting speed as they went. That was when a cackling Peeves went shooting by and startled him out of his reverie. Looking back out of the window, he suddenly spotted her.

He had seen her in school before, for she was always surrounded by a loud group of friends, though he had never given her a second glance. But he was certainly looking at her now. She was very easy to spot; her bright flaming hair was like a magnetic force field, drawing him in. She was alone on the grounds for she was the only one who had the courage to brave the rain. Of course this was because she loved the rain too. He didn't know it yet, but she loved the rain as much as he did. He watched as she spun in circles-her arms held wide as if she was hugging the sky, her face looking towards the heavens, eyes closed, and lips in a peaceful smile- she spun. She didn't mind that she was totally drenched, didn't mind that she was most likely going to catch pneumonia. She needed the rain, just as he did, to wash away the fears of being away from home for the first time. He allowed himself a small smile at her antics.

'_That girl is something else,'_ he thought. Most girls he knew would be horrified at the very idea of being in the rain. They would complain that it would ruin there perfectly done up makeup and preciously styled hair. This girl obviously had none of these thoughts as evident by the carelessness on her face. It was then and there that he decided that she was the girl for him. He spent the rest of that year trying to talk to her, showing off, striving for her attention. Other girls soon started noticing him: the funny, confident and daring James Potter. But not her, not the hot-tempered, green-eyed girl he had seen enjoying the storm.

L/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/JL/J

Years passed and he was as incorrigible as ever, never failing to wind her up. In their second year, in attempted to get her attention, he tried out for the Quidditch team. He made chaser and thought that would impress her, no such luck. In their third year, he constantly asked her out, never missing an opportunity and never realizing her annoyance when she would get furious and reply with a no. In their fourth year, just to try to hear her twinkling laugh, he would jinx Slytherins in front of her, thinking, for some insane reason, that she would find it amusing. He should have realized that it wasn't working in the slightest, but he was ever so persistent. It wasn't until their fifth year and an incident after their O.W.L.S. that involved Snape and underpants, did Lily finally snap. After that, James did not say a word to her; he didn't even acknowledge her presence. It confused her completely, but she would not complain, after all, it was what she had been pleading him to do for the last five years.

However, come sixth year, things started to change. For one, James had come back to school more handsome then ever. He had grown tall and filled out nicely. She took new notice of the muscles that flexed and strained with every move, honed from years of Quidditch. Yet, he was not absent of that mischievous twinkle in his eye and that confident smirk on his lips that made him James. She wasn't the only one who had noticed the change. Basically all students of the female persuasion, from tiny little first years to the older seventh years, had noticed too. They flocked him in numbers that made her jealous, though she would care to never admit it.

'_It isn't your right to care,'_ she convinced herself, _'you could've said yes, you gave up_ _your right to care.'_ They didn't speak again until their seventh year when Lily, and somehow, James were both made Heads (a decision that is still questioned till this day). There was a particular confrontation however in their sixth year that made Lily start to wonder if she truly knew James Potter…

**It was during the fall's last leaves; that was the first time he **_**saw**_** her.**

He rushed down the corridor, hoping to make it down to the Great Hall in time to salvage some of his breakfast time before class. However, hearing the sounds of sobs coming from a nearby classroom, he slowed abruptly down to a stop. Opening the door tentatively to find out who was crying, he saw a site he never thought he'd see. Lily Evans sitting in the corner, her back against the hard stone, tears running freely. All thoughts of food disappeared immediately. He met her gaze as she looked up at him, and for the first time, neither said anything sarcastic or offensive. It wasn't the time. Silently, he made his way over to sit beside her. It didn't matter to him that she had told him to stay away. Nor did it matter that, to him, she wasn't supposed to exist anymore; he wanted nothing but to see her room-brightening smile grace her features again. James was quiet; he just wrapped his arms around her with intentions of comforting her. To his surprise, she leaned in, not objecting in the least and crying even harder. For hours they sat there, not caring in the least that they were skipping class. He was never one to follow the rules and she was too distraught to mind. So they stayed there in the deserted classroom, Lily, soaking the front of James' crisp, white button-down while he gently stroked her vibrantly colored hair. Finally, when she ran out of tears, she straightened up, looking embarrassedly at James' now rumpled shirt.

"Thank you," she said quietly, her voice full of appreciation. He still said nothing, just looked at her with questioning eyes. She stared right back, her piercing green eyes penetrating his soul. Then, as if she could read his mind she admitted almost inaudibly,

"I got a letter during breakfast," her voice was raspy and unstable, "my parents—" her voice broke suddenly. Taking several deep shaky breaths, she continued, "They were killed in a car accident." She wasn't looking at him anymore; her gaze was on the far wall of the classroom. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to say anything wrong, so he didn't say anything at all. All he did was pull her to him again to hold her tightly. More silence. It was broken when she suddenly spoke up,

"Why?" she asked, tears staining her soft cheeks. She looked confused, trying to comprehend his actions. "Why are you being so nice to me? After everything I've said and done, I've been horrible to you. And yet-yet, you still…"

He struggled for a moment, not knowing how to phrase his answer so that she would truly understand.

"Because," he settled on saying it in the simplest way he could, "When you care about someone, you'll always keep trying, no matter how much it hurts." She looked at him startled. He knew that was not the answer she was expecting. She was seeing a whole new side of him, a side that only his best friends and family ever saw. As for him, he finally saw what was behind the façade of perfection. This girl wasn't the fiery, independent person the rest of the world was given. He finally saw Lily.

**It was during the winter's first snow; that was the first time he **_**heard**_** her.**

His normally light, hazel eyes were dark and flashing dangerously with anger,

"No, _you_ don't understand. I've been trying for seven years to get you to fancy me! Seven years! But you, you think that this is all some kind of sick joke! It's not Lily, it's not. But it doesn't really matter to you does it? Because in the end, the only one getting hurt here is me," his voice became soft as he said that last sentence. He stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first and last time, eyes roaming, memorizing each detail of her face. Then taking an uneven breath he hastily turned and walked away. She stood frozen, processing what he had just said. He wasn't supposed to react this way. He was supposed to be ecstatic, supposed to kiss her passionately until her lips were swollen and she couldn't breathe properly. They were supposed to live happily ever after. It took her all but a few seconds to snap back into reality.

"James! Stop!" she shouted running after him, pushing her way through the crowded corridors. She shoved her fellow classmates aside, desperate to reach him.

"Please, just listen to me," she begged. He stopped in the middle of the hall but didn't make any move to face her.

"I've listened to what you've had to say, I get it now Lily, I'm done," he sounded broken.

"Damn it, James! Stop being such a —" she gave a frustrated sigh as he started walking again. She wasn't about to let him go so easily though, not after so long, after she finally figured out what she truly wanted. In her last blind attempt to get him to listen to her, she called out,

"You know, someone once told me, that when you care about someone, you'll always keep trying, no matter how much it hurts." He froze; she took that as a sign to continue.

"So you may be done, but I'm not. I'm going to always keep trying, because I care James, I _care_." He turned slowly to meet her eyes, walking cautiously, snaillike towards her. They didn't even notice the crowd they had drawn, the students watching this exchange going on. To them, it was only James and Lily.

"You remember?" he whispered, coming to a stop a few feet in front of her. She nodded furiously, eyes shinning with tears.

"Of course I remember," she replied, "I remember it perfectly because that-that was the day I started falling for you."

As soon as she said that, as soon as her words sunk in, he crossed all the invisible boundaries that had separated them so long and snatched her up gently into their first kiss. It wasn't passion filled as she had always dreamed it would be, but it was so much better. Their kiss was tender but urgent, filled with every unspoken word they had yet to say. Her hands came up around his neck and she ran her fingers through his untamable hair. She focused on nothing but the feeling of his lips on hers, moving in perfect sync, as if it was destined to be. All around them wolf-whistles and cat-calls erupted, but James and Lily, they couldn't hear a thing.

**It was during spring's first bloom; that was the first time he **_**loved**_** her**

Her legs were curled tightly under her, her hair unruly and piled on top of her head, and then there was that slight crease between her eyebrows as she furled them in concentration. Her eyes scanned the book held in her hands as she searched for some content she could use on her essay that was due the following Monday. Instead of doing his own essay, as he should, James watched her with an unyielding gaze, which annoyed her to no end.

'_She's beautiful,'_ he thought. Then, he watched, amused, as she threw down her book and threw him a nasty look. He raised one knowing eyebrow.

"Stop it!" she insisted.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently. She rolled her eyes,

"You bloody well know what. You're driving me crazy."

"You're driving yourself crazy with all this work. Let's get out of here, it's a gorgeous night," he tried convincing her. She gave him an incredulous look,

"We can't."

"Why….?" He asked looking truly perplexed.

"We can't go outside! It's against the rules for one. Besides we have to finish our essays."

He sighed,

"Lily, you're almost done and we have two more days to finish it so please, for once, just live a little." She glared at him, her heart not really in it and he mockingly glared right back..

"Fine." She tossed her quill down on the table and her lip twitched as if she was fighting a grin.

"Yes! Thank you!" he cheered before giving her chaste kiss and running up the stairs to grab his map and cloak. She laughed at his childish antics and shook her head thinking,

'_What I do for the boy.'_ They snuck down onto the grounds with ease as there was no one else up at the late hour. As soon as they got close enough to the lake, she threw off the cloak and, with a giggled that was so pure and childlike, ran giddily towards the shore and plopped down in the grass, her hair spilling out of her chaotically done bun. He stood and watched as she laid back and gazed up at the stars.

"Come on James," she beckoned, "You were the one who wanted to come out here."

'_She's really is something else,'_ was his thought before joining her on the lawn. She looked so peaceful, her hair fanned out, and her breaths falling steadily. Lying by her side, he felt that nothing in the world could compare to this. He turned his head towards her, examining, in his completely biased opinion, each gorgeous feature that happened to rest upon her face.

"What are you thinking?" she breathed catching him entirely of guard. She laughed lightly at his slightly startled reaction, though never taking her eyes off of the sky above.

"Well…I'm thinking that you're the most beautiful girl on the earth," he smirked, satisfied, when he saw blush rise on her face. She gave him a light smack. He chuckled, grasping for the offending object, he took her smaller hand in his own calloused one.

"And…" he continued more seriously, "I'm thinking that there's no where in the world I'd rather be." Finally she turned her head towards him. He read her eyes for an answer. Under the dim light of the guardian of the night, they seemed to sparkle like diamonds with millions of facets. He could see the adoration in them that was mirrored in his own hazel ones. She smiled at him, and bringing her other hand up to rest on his cheek, she whispered in agreement. On those grassy banks of the lake, on the looming Hogwarts grounds, with only the moon and stars as witnesses, was when James Potter realized that he had found his first, and only, love. Of course, she wouldn't know until a couple weeks later when he finally mustered up the courage to tell her.

**It was during a stormy Halloween night; that was when he died for her.**

He froze when the heard the cottage door burst open. No one knew where they where and Peter wouldn't risk coming out. Which meant only one thing: they had been betrayed. _He_ was here. Without any rational thinking, he sprinted down the stairs and into the narrow front hall. He saw a tall, thin shadow moving forward and he knew.

_"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off—" (1 )_ James shouted, blindly praying that she had heard him. He cursed himself for leaving his wand on the couch and knew that he had scarcely any hope of beating You-Know-Who without it. Dieing didn't matter to him though, he only hoped that he would be able to stall for long enough so Lily could take Harry and get out of the house. Even as he rushed to face death head-on, he felt no fear. The knowledge that he was dieing to keep the ones he loved kept him calm and level-headed. Stumbling towards the black cloak, he desperately tried to think of a way to forestall him. There was a clear, cold voice, a flash of green light. It was too late. James, however, refused to let the cold, white, and emotionless face of his murderer to be the last sight he saw on this earth. Instead, he pictured the one person that he would never stop loving, no matter where he would go once he was dead. She was his angel on earth with her fair and rosy skin, emerald green eyes that never missed a thing, and bright hair. He could almost feel the comfort that her hand in his brought to him, the tenderness of her touch. And as his soul left his body behind, he thought his very last thought,

'_Never forget that I love you,'_

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**A/N: So, as you can see, I had a little trouble with that last one…eh. But I think over all this turned out okay. Please review, I would love to know what you think. **

_Taken from HPatPoA, not mine. _

**07/20/09, Edited: Not revised, just cleaned up things here and there. Did a scrappy job of it probably. I did change around that last passage but that was because I realized that it wasn't cannon. And yes, either is the whole 'Go out with me' thing before 5****th**** year but hey. **


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